Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Thanks for the memories

this is my family.
when everyone was alive and well.


mum, lorraine, sara

they say that we resemble each other.
that we looked like twins from the back.
i looked older somehow.
and you used to laugh about it.
used to sing about anything. with different parts.
even our voices are the same.
wonderful memories we once shared.
when we used to talk bout anything and everything under the sky, moon, sun and stars.
laughed, joked, cried, sing.
then, you had to leave me.
left me to deal with all these myself.
people say im strong.
but dont they understand that sometimes, just sometimes,
i too, am human.
i too, am allowed to be weak.
this feeling sucks.
hate it right down the bottom of my heart.
and now, memories of you are fading.
which is what im so scared of.
i dont wish to forget you.
for you were also i once called my dearsister.
they say, help you to live by me living off well and good.
how to? when you're not around anymore?
how?
i miss you. im not denying it.
the times we once shared were priceless.
no one could ever give me that kind of memories.
but as each day passes me by,
i seem to forget your existence.
which is what i am mostmost scared of.
how i wish you were here with me.
telling me what to do. giving me strength.
giving me hope when there isnt any.
giving me love when no one did.
you are indeed one of a kind.
thank god for giving me you.
and then taking you back.
leaving me to fend for myself.
i dont trust easily.
i dont love easily.
yet, im trusting and loving everyone around me easily.
but in the end, im the one hurting so much.
great. just great.
yaya, this is life. i say whatever.
raine.

you were always the one i look up to.
always the one whom i can talk to about anything at all.
always the one who is not tired of me at all.
always the one to sing with me when no one would.
even ra gets tired of me sometimes.
maybe im being paranoid.
i think she hates me sometimes, just sometimes.
my fault? well, maybe.
im irritating.
no one's ever the same as you.
you were my pillar of strength.
and when you left.
i seriously died. my heart turned cold.
turned to keeping things inside me.
yes i am crying.
crying for the times that i did not miss you.
for the many times i stopped myself from crying in order to stay strong for mum.
for the times i couldnt cry.
you were the perfect one. and me, the imperfect one.
but im learning each day.
to make myself a better person each day.
to learn to trust and love better.
it's hard~

von. the bestest sisters ever (including ra).

do not teach me what to feel.
cause you guys dont know what i feel.
nor tell me how to feel.
cause i'll get over it.
i just need a few hours. and i'll be fine.
and do not sms me.
for i hate to read messages like those.
yeah...
i hate it when im down.
i think of you when im down.
i hate my mood swings.
argh! make them go away.
please god. please.
thanks for the trials that come my way.
making me stronger each moment.
this is when my friends around me lights up my day/night.
that's why i love them.
they dont question. they just know.
thanks once again god. for them.

i bleed for you
and i see me standing alone
i bleed for you
i find myself wishing
you were gone
~ von out ~

Monday, July 30, 2007

Emotions

People get together.
People break up.

People get married.
People divorced.

Babies are born.
Some goes for abortion.

There's life.
There's death.

There are people who are genuinely nice.
Yet, there are those who aren't.

Then there are those whom you love.
But these are the people that will hurt you the most.

And there are those who hatesdislikes you.
The backstabbing goes on.


you're not the boss of me now. miss u heaps. yet u dont know it at all. how interesting.
von's thinking a lot today.
a thousand and one things going through her mind.
feeling happy one second. yet moody the next.
this is the worst mood swing that von ever got.
trust me.
be thankful that i did not lose my cool.

for when i lose it. i lose it.
do not catch me at the wrong timing.
cause von will erupt far more worst than a volcano.
she's feeling a little down.
maybe because of the weather.
she's emo-ing.. what she does best anyway.
and yet she's feeling up.
because of the weather that is so cooling and nice.
hmm... this is me.
von.
i dont give a shit bout what you think.
for this is my blog.
and i blog whatever i like whenever i like.
oh yeah.
im not talking bout anything that happened in school.
so relax people.. relax..
von's in a weird mood.
maybe because she too, have low blood pressure.
dad has high blood pressure.
we got the equipment to test our blood pressure.
von might faint anytime, anywhere, anyhow.
haha.. that will be cool.
sometimes, i hope that i faint and not wake up.
reality sucks.
but oh well... this is life...
how do i live without you
i want to know
how do i breathe without you
if you ever go
how do i ever
ever survive?
how do i live~

- von out -

Sunday, July 29, 2007

Fun Time

von went for classes on saturday. came home bout 3.30pm..
bathed, napped and went to church.
after church, this is what that had happened..
before the meeting..... dinner time!!

von in ian's car...

had meeting from 8.30-10pm...
and as usual, went to Zorro's for mamak...

amount of glasses ra and i had.. with my FAT fingers in between..

von got home by 12am... then went to bed at 1.30...
then, sunday, woke up at 9... bathed and went to work!
had fun working.. although like im so damntired...
had lunch with clara! yeah, she came specially to eat with me!
hahaha so happy k? ehem... then von knocked off at 5pm..
went home, napped and fetched clara out for dinner..
hahaha.. now im here blogging as usual...
u came and smiled as usual. told u to stop taking 2jobs. u nodded and smiled widely. my tummy churned inside. =)
von posing... von loves mirrors!
didnt know that i missed u that much till today. but what can i do? your heart's so far away from me.
lastly, von's saying goodnight once again...
hahahaha
have a nice week ahead people!! =)
it's really good to hear your voice
saying my name
it sounds so sweet
coming from the lips of an angel
hearing those words
it makes me weak
\ von out /

Friday, July 27, 2007

Ahhh

hello! von's back!
hahaha.. she's in hell lot of pain..
but still surviving!
never liked cramps anyway.. who does?
hahaha.. im still really crazy..
my mood swings are swinging very very weirdly this month!
mary, von, jey!

von got hurt on thursday.
it was an accident.. haha
now im limping like an old woman...
everyone's looking at me in a weird way..
a young girl walking like an old woman!
hahahahaha~ it's quite fun though...
walking slowly enjoying the scenery...

now, a closer look at my left foot...

today, we had a Personal Hygiene test...
only 30 multiple choice question... and it's super duper EASY!
hahaha.. then von went for cooking!!!
today, all of us made Mayonnaise sauce.. Hollandaise sauce and Vinaigrette dressing..
hahaha my mayonnaise sauce tasted the best! i like!!!!
then i went pastamania for a snack! had fun! veryvery happy~
hahaha.. =)
von's weird.. i know...
coz my mood is like going up and down real fast...

this is just an emo pic taken by mary.. jey, von, bel~

von's saying goodnight now... hehe~
nitezzz~ sleeping is precious!
veryvery precious to von!
hahahaha..

nitenite!~ =)
saw u just now. pretended that i didn see u and walked passed u. then u called my name! and teased me! my heart ached~
you know the world can see us
in a way that's different than

who we are~

^ von out ^

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Yes!

yay!! von's in the mood for blogging! haha
i'll start with saturday.. von stayed at home whole day!
to rest that is... then evening, went to church for mass..
after mass, had dinner with Max~!
he's just too cute to be true!

i love max!! =)

and we had supper with Steve, La, Keegan, Clara and ra...
yummylicious... in Zorro~
yes steve... the one who always treats us to Fridays...
yes him... he's rich! hahaha

everyone say "hie steve!"
i went to work,waited for u, but u did not show up. saw u the following day. u smiled while i walk passed. my heart melted.
forget bout sunday.. coz von went to work... hahaha yeah.....
monday went fine too... had computer class in the morning... mario playing again..
hahaha.. then tuesday..
classes started at 11am.. so von slept peacefully till 8am.. hahaha
took some pictures in the afternoon.. during our lunch break...

smiley von and emofied bel~

today is a day to remember!!! why???
cause.. today, von got the chance to make a cocktail!!!!
it's called 'Whisky Sour'
woooohooo~~
von was enjoying her time freezing with the equipments up there!
that's Mr Albert Ong.. he's one damn funny trainer....
you'll see why... hahahahaha

and... TADA!!!! Whisky Sour everybody!!! hahahahahaha
went to the shop again today, u werent there for work. im worried.coz you're working the whole day and night without sleep.
von is feeling damn happy la~~
hahaha today's a good day for von!!
hiphip... hooray~~~
arent u guys proud of me???
the drink tasted nice k??? HAHAHAHAHA
weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~
high..high~~~~
weeeeeee~~
in the jungle, the mighty jungle...
the lion sleeps tonight...

i loved you
i loved you all along
and i forgive you
for being away for far too long

! ~ von out ~ !

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

HelloGoodbye

hello!
i think i have things to say.
but, it's not coming out right..
therefore,
von shall blog tmr!
when im better of course!
hahahaha
im weird~
i know..
u know..
we all know..
THERE! SEE~
the weirdness in me acting up again..
it shall therefore be acting as me from now on..
hahahahaha..
i love god!
i love my family!
i love my friends~
=)
nice and sweet and short! hehe..
i went for work. u werent there.then the next day, i went after school. and u were there! u smiled as i was walking nearer. u talked to me! my heart jumped yet again. sigh~ why are u doing this to me? help me to get over u? please?
pernahkah kau menguntai
hari paling indah?
ku ukir nama kita berdua
di sini, syurga kita~
> von out <

Friday, July 20, 2007

Nah..

hello!! sorry for not updating peeps...
u know what? actually i've posted this post up already...
but when i came back today, there were no pictures at all!
ting can vouch for me... =)
so now, im re-typing this post.. heh
lets start with monday!
woke up at 5am... and reached school at 7.30am...
had COMPUTER lesson... where all of us played Super Mario and Crazy Taxi..
we werent supposed to play la.. so yeah.. u guys have to like 'sshhhhh......'

julian drew this for me! so sweet~

von got back at 5pm... hung around city square and went back home...
fetched rara from church and drifted off to lala-land!

this is von's good friend, Arr, from work place..

nothing special happened on tuesday...
wednesday, we had to do service again..
got 'fired, fried, shot, goreng-ed' up, down, left, right and center!
but after that, we were alright with it already...
really pity Guoyu.. cause he was the HeadWaiter that day...

this is weisiong! forever with his nice smile! =)
saw u today,u ignored me.coz u were out doing 2jobs a day without any sleep. my heart shattered.

sisi and weisiong!
saw u again on thurs.we talked. darn happy! finally told me where u worked. and again, my heart jumped for joy!

and lastly, a random picture of yuhui, von, elina, ningxin and nic's hands~
i miss u.but do u miss me? i dont think so coz for now, i have another one coming up. waiting for my answer. sigh~
von came back at 7.30pm on wed... went to city square! and u know what?? the cast from 'Love Is Cinta' came down!!! so being the-ever-so-kepoh von, i went down and took a video of them!! Acha Septriasa and Irwansyah! and yeah.. the people who sang 'My Heart'... and yes.. the song in my blog! haha and i tell u... Irwansyah's quite cute!!! hahaha.. then von went back home and slept like a pig at 1.30am...
im confused. u touched me. i felt u. my heart tingles. what does it mean?
then the next day, von dragged herself up at 5am..
went to school.. and had classes from 8am-7pm..
so von practically died-ed when she reached JB... hahaha

im adding somemore updates now...
that was updates from mon-thurs...
now friday... von woke up! went to cs.. then went to school...
had cooking again today! and guess what?? von cooked alone today!
hahahaha so darn proud of myself! cause i've never cooked before!
hahahahaha yay!!!!!! happyness~

bila kita mencintai yang lain
mungkinkah hati ini akan tegar?
sebisa mungkin, tak akan pernah
sayang ku akan hilang?

if we love somebody could we be this strong?
i will fight to win, our love will conquer all
i wouldnt risk my love, even just one night
our love will stay in my heart
my heart~
/ von out \

Sunday, July 15, 2007

Happy Birthday Uncle Wong!

yes.. updates for now..
von went to school as usual on sat only to find out that we're not doing any service for our group.. coz apparently the people gotten our restaurant ready for some function and told us not to touch anything there.. so, we were given the task to CLEAN up.. yeah.. classes ended at 1 instead of 3... so von rushed back for church.. came back, slept and went for church!
hahahaha after church, we had a small meeting.. at a place called T.G.I.F.(Friday's)..
yay!!!! so happy.. and ra, paul, von, clara, steve, angila and eduard.. ate until we were super bloated.. hahaha but left with veryvery happy stomach!


this is what ra ate! hahaha

so here sunday comes.. von woke up and went for work..
boss forced me to work k? coz not enough people..
so von went.. and had lotsa fun!!! weeeeeee~


afro.. my kawan baik (good friend)!!! =)

von knocked off at 6pm... and proceeded to max or uncle wong's house for dinner..
it's uncle wong's birthday!
and we had laughters all the way through..
some pictures are strictly for viewing.. no laughing allowed! =)
lastly, a pic of von and cute lil max! he's only 2yrs.... love u max~

last but not least,
i went to work, u smiled and played with me all the while. did u miss me? missed me so much that u had to keep calling my name and playing with me all the while? oh.. how i've missed u...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY UNCLE WONG~!

then u had to make me mad by saying that u wan my help by shutting up.i know u din mean it but i just wana get angry with u so that i wont like u anymore. but i cant! argh~ my fault for liking u..
cause the hardest part of this
is leaving you~

" von out "

Friday, July 13, 2007

Picture time!

the pictures below are those took today..
where von had to COOK~~
hahaha.. nothing much..
it's chicken bones soup.. yeah...
gtg.. byebye! watching movie~
harry potter! at 11.30pm... yay!
yuhui, von~




the final product...
yo ho yo ho
a pirate's life for me!
* von out *