nothing

von's emoing. why?
cause.
im sorry for being born this way.
im sorry to make your lives difficult.
im sorry for the wrongs that i've done.
im sorry for the rights that i've made wrong.
im sorry for making you angry.
im sorry for being stupid.
im sorry for not being smart enough.
im sorry for being lazy.
im sorry for not being diligent.
im sorry for not being intelligent.
the worst of all is, im sorry that im even born.
not that i want to.
not that anybody wanted me to.
but
cause
God wanted me to.
to stay here on earth and suffer.
there are many ways of suffering.
but my way of suffering is way way way wrong.
there might be people suffering way worst than me.
but sometimes, i just wanna give up and stop all my sufferings.
cause it really hurts me deep. just sometimes.
and sometimes, your hearts just doesn't have the space for you to hurt.
and when that happens, you fall.
fall into a deep hole.
fall into somewhere you've never been.
just plain falling from the edge.
it all leads to me being born.
not that it's a bad thing or something.
it's just also not that a good thing either.
von's stressed i guess. she's going bonkers, weird, crazy....!
only God can help now.
im just plainly, sincerely sorry for everything.
sigh~
dont even know why im so emo.
you MIGHT have a heart problem.
i teared. but do you know that? no.
i won't be able to stand another one dying at home.
i've lost 3.. and it shall remain 3 for now.
but it's not for me to decide eh?
so, God, help me now. that's all i ask of you.

how do i live without you
i want to know
how do i breathe without you
if you ever go
how do i ever, ever survive
how do i
how do i
how do i live

' von out '