nothing

this post means nothing. so dont even bother reading it.
why is life so unfair?
why is life so weird?
why do some people get what they want and live happily?
and why some people just cant no matter how hard they try?
why do people hurt?
why do some people just love hurting others?
why is there injustice?
why is there pain?
where isn there even joy?
some say there will be sunshine after the rain.
but unfortunately, not mine after all...

rain rain go away, come again another day

i am sad. yes i am.
i am sad and bored and i have absolutely nothing to do now.
im sad coz im gonna leave real soon.
to an unknown place with unfamiliar people.
and oh yes, you are happy for me.
hello? im the one who is supposed to be happy.
but why am i not?
why?
well, maybe i know the problem.
it's like i have the same problem like the girl in Ice Princess.
but at least in the end, everyone understands the problem.
and not to mention that they fixed it too.
sometimes, being alone in this whole wide world is a good thing.
sometimes, being alone aint a good feeling.
sometimes, having many friends doesnt mean that every single one of them will always be there.
sometimes, there never was anybody there.
sometimes, disappearing might be a good idea.
sometimes, just get a knock and you'll forget everything.
that might be a good idea then.
it's tiring sometimes, being the oldest and eldest.
the burden that no one can ever understand.
the burden of being a second and suddenly being the first.
it's not easy. everyone knows.
but sometimes, you just wana let go of everything.
how you longed to be loved for who you are.
and not what you are.
is it that hard to love someone?
you dont ask for much.
but just love you for who you are.
you may not be as smart as others.
not be as cool as others.
but we do have our own feelings.
and when it hurts,
you just wana disappear. for good.
and when you cant, you turn to something bad.
you turn revengeful. you turn rebellious. you even turn into another person.
you can even turn into someone you dont even know could exist.
it hurts. painfully. deep down. where no one has ever gone before.
well, maybe someone. or a few others.
it hurts that you might even wish to stop breathing.
to end it all. but cant.

sunshine~
and in the end, you learn to breathe again.
coz the sun is up once again.
and you'll learn to forget the past.
forget bout the pain you used to have.
forget bout what has been in your heart for a long time.
forget bout the pain that was in your heart since young.
forget that you were the second.
forget that you cant always have what you want.
forget that you cant force someone to love you.
not even the closest people.
not even family.
but hey, you get to forget everything once the sun comes up.
and you'll be back to who you are.
forgetting all the sadness in your heart and mind.
living happily after all. for once.
but
not for long.

so i lay my head back down
and i lift my hands and pray
to be only yours i pray
to be only yours i pray
to be only yours
i know now
you're my only hope

\/ von out /\